At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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