he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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