How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
