PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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