i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
