Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
