Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
