nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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