We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
