It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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