very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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