Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
