My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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