My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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