hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
