White coat. Heels.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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