so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
