Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
