If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
