The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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