How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
