fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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