so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
