Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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