White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
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