I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
