we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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