I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
