if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
