the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
