He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
