Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
