He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
