He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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