I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
