I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
