ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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