in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My pussy is not your playground.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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