hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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