oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
