He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
