Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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