I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Your penis caused this!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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