So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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