im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
