she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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