just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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