You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
