does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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