So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
