Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I don't deserve a penis
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
