Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
