do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
