it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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