watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He shit in the fireplace
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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