Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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