Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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