So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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