a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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