do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You ruined the universe
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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