if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
