and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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